"Year Zero" Electromagnetic Pulse Generator
Modern technological civilization has robbed our lives of the struggle that brings meaning. We spend our days shuffling, dead-eyed and dead-souled, from one screen to another. The natural-born instincts, strength and speed that allowed our ancestors to hunt saber-toothed tigers are atrophying away, year by year. Science, urbanization and industrial production have extended our lifespans, but at what cost? And is it too late to regain what we’ve lost?
It is NOT too late—if you act now and buy the "Year Zero" Electromagnetic Pulse Generator (YZEMPG) today.
Designed and built by reclusive Austrian munitions magnate Karl Vilnison deep inside Mt. Doom in the Swiss Alps, the YZEMPG is a ten-trillion watt low-inductance capacitor bank which, when eventually activated, will destroy every electronic device on the planet and end modern civilization.
Vilnison passed away in 1950 before activating the YZEMPG, and left the device to AirSplurge in his will to settle an outstanding invoice with us. And now we’re making it available to you!
Purchase price includes the YZEMPG device, property and mineral rights to Mt. Doom, and Karl Vilnison’s secret YZEMPG activation password.
Asking price is $49,999,999.99, but interesting trades will be considered.